"I don't believe we dream the same way."

Is it wrong, to prune leaves which will die,

Or should I let them die as they will, naturally, and unforsaken?

I try to remember what I have forget,

I try to forgive myself for what I know I cannot,

And, in it all, my future swims hazily from time to time,

Without pleasure or happiness, but with purpose that struggles

Through the blades of my thoughts.

And I hope you don't mind.

"You shouldn't love someone like me."

"I don't need to know everything."

Is it wrong, in the foreground of my decisions,

To let you walk beside me, when I have tried to convince you otherwise?

Capsin tablets fill the extent of my sins,

Biting and raw, blood rushes beneath the keratin of my skin,

And if I said yes, if I meant it, would you believe me?

Would you need me?

"I would go back to her in a second."

Why is it crushing to know that I do not linger in your thoughts alone?

Amber leaves from weather beaten trees;

what do I know of happiness?

When I cannot accept its advances on me.

I feel into the gray and cringe at your innocence and agression-

Perhaps, I should not-

Perhaps it takes the unforgivable to realize the wrong of a self-sustaining dream of happiness

I wish for it; yet I don't

I need it; yet I can't

And I want you to feel warmth, but not in the boundaries of your ideals

And I want you to know love, but not in the hands of my indecision

And I want you to know faith, but not in the limit of your self-centered views

How am I to love you?

When you are what I asked for, what I prayed for, but now cannot have or fathom?

"I'm just happy being with you."

A question left unsaid, and an answer surely given.

I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry.

I wish for you to dream;

Dream of children, houses, land, money, family, and truth.

But my dreams are constrained by the complexity of my vision-

The loss of my truth-

And I dream of only effort, with strain the remainder, and happiness the radical.

"I wish I wasn't leaving the one I love."

If only, I could convince you-

Without the neccesity of hurting you.

Your insecurity of faith, trust, and truth,

Lingers in your innocence, yes, innocence,

And, you know that I can't wait for you.

I can't be with you- Not because I don't want to,

But because I would kill you.

---

"I missed you."

I move my hand from your shoulder.

And, you only grip me tighter.

"I love you."

I see your face in my vision of him,

And you only pull me stronger.

"I don't want to."

I stop your hand in its motion,

And you face holds me longer.

"We shouldn't do this."

I can tell it hurts you.

I can tell I hurt you.

Omission leads no less a path from the truth,

Then easy lies and simple words do.

And I let you linger, in my closed disposition,

While I let him inside, and let myself cry-

Knowing that you will stay and he will leave,

That life will not stop and I will not repeat,

But I choose him because he doesn't look in my eyes-

I choose him, because he turns away,

"Will you promise?"

Seriousness held to the hilt,

And love laughs at your proposals,

At your truth,

"I will wait for you."

I choose him because

he isn't you.

I choose him because,

he isn't mine.

I choose him,

Because he lies.

A definition of love;

Glass floating on water, ice making a sculpture.

Elements and continents

Are we who we are now, or who we were then?

"I have the capacity to love you."

Is potential enough- or its use the better measure?

Red wine and rooms full of smoke;

Maintain the status quo.

Air slides easily between two entities defined;

Your love for me is my love for time.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Patches for intangible items-

Remedies for emotional ailments.

Can voice prove to be the medium for our thoughts if our thoughts come not in words or depart not in truth?

"I don't know; I don't know."

A contrapositive; does one negative mean another, does a lie lead to truth?

Perhaps life's logic holds no such conditions for love.

My love- my love?

In physical presence, in lateral position, in logical being, but no emotional condition

Can mine truly mean posession?

"I promise you. I will change"

Boundaries spread in all directions and back to the beginning;

From innate to better meaning,

Change comes only in haunting reflection

Of original intention

Is language meant to move or to be true?

How can I touch-

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

How can I trust-

"I was trying to be open with you."

How can I lust-

"This is hard to say."

How can I want-

"I lied to you, on purpose."

How can I need-

"You would be with him, that he would fit better with you, and it kills me."

How can I love-

"I want to be with you. I only want you."

You.

And it isn't a question-

Though it always is for you.